Strong feelings about groceries

It may be a tad unhealthy to feel so passionately about food, but here I am, doing just that. Today, I won’t be discussing my profession, or my kid, or my husband.  I just really feel the need to share my ridiculously firm beliefs about certain pantry items. Particularly, those that I do not buy. The first of these being:

Cool-Whip.

Cool-Whip is gross. I believe if you say you like it, you just don’t know any better.  You probably like the idea of it more than anything.  Do yourself a favor, skip this glorified sugary tub of grease and dump a small carton of cream in your mixer with a fistful of powdered sugar or splenda, and crank that baby up to 6 or 7. In 3-5 minutes, your life will be forever changed. You can even get wild and drop a tad of vanilla extract in it if you wish. Substitute in ANY recipe that suggests you assault your families taste buds with “uncool-whip.” Also, I am not against opting for reddi-whip. It will do in a pinch, and the sound it makes is strangely satisfying..

Margarine/vegetable oil spread

Growing up, I thought butter came from a tub. (I also thought miracle whip was mayonnaise, if that tells you anything) I didn’t know what real butter was until I met my husband. That is all I buy. The difference is incredible. Worth every penny.

Cake Sprinkles

Don’t. Just don’t.  Playdoh is closer to qualifying as food.

PET milk

This one is more because I don’t understand it. I know so many recipes that call for it, especially “heirloom recipes. Why not real milk? I always have it on hand and it tastes better. We aren’t living on canned milk rations and we have a refrigerator. I just don’t understand.  Maybe someone can enlighten me someday why evaporated milk would ever be the better choice.

Seasoning mixes/blends

Taco mix, cajun seasoning, bbq rub, Italian seasoning,  the list goes on. Save your cabinet space for basic single spices and herbs. These mixtures are super simple, and you can tweak them to fit your preferences. The less shit you have, the less hassle.

Canned green beans

I’m not fixin’ to preach on the additives in canned vegetables. I just hate the flavor and always opt for frozen. Additives and preservatives are cool in my book (nods to the twinkie). Weird tastes? Not so much.

I’m sure there are more… I could talk about food and groceries and eating and cooking all day long. What I love… what I hate… I even like to hear how others feel. There’s nothing like defending a favorite food to someone like you birthed it yourself, nor like the special bond you form with someone that loves something as much as you do and you go off together and share a euphoric foodie experience together… Okay, I acknowledge that I’m getting a bit carried away. Just be forewarned,  this is probably now the last time I touch on the subject of food. Chow! (I mean ciao, of course.)

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