Mrs. Knowitall, R.N.


     I love my profession and I’m proud of what I do. I can educate you about what your diabetic Daddy needs to be eating for dinner, I can identify early signs of heart attack and stroke, I can even connect you with the resources you need to quit smoking. I have to say, however, that there is something deep down in people who are drawn to nursing that is unfortunatly probably sending a lot of us to an early grave.
     I think we are all guilty of it. It became apparent to me when I was in nursing school, studying about proper eating and sleep habits at 1AM, sucking down a Redbull for a late supper. We are the poster children for “do as I say, not as I do.”
     How many of us would encourage a patient to “keep on working with that bum shoulder you hurt yesterday, it will probably heal in its own.” That “pop” you heard wasn’t anything, skip the doctor visit and keep on truckin’. Of course we wouldn’t! Unless, of course the person in question is ourselves.
     We think there is nothing we can’t fix ourselves without the help of “Dr. Google.”  Nurses make the worst patients because we can’t seem to wrap our minds around the role reversal. Nothing hurts worse than needing help. I don’t honestly know if its “pride” or just that we think we are an invincible Supernurse and any  sign of weakness immediately takes our ability to care for others. Maybe its a mix of the two.
    Let me go ahead and tell on myself. I started back to work after a three month maternity leave this week. I then made the decision to go to exclusively formula feeding my son, and since I have a three day break before I work again, I’ll just knock out this weaning thing now and be good as gold for work. So I just stopped. I’ll just dry up and that will be that. I can just hear all y’all laughing right now, because anyone with any experience with this will know, as I do now,  cold turkey is not the way to go in this situation. I would have known this earlier if I would have called the trusty lactation nurse, but I couldn’t do that because that resource is for… well, PATIENTS, which I am not because I am a NURSE. (See what I’m getting at?) Mind you, I’ve NEVER worked as a women’s health nurse so why I thought I should know everything is beyond me. Basically, I could have skipped a lot of discomfort (although I have to say I was diggin’ the physique) and embarrassment if I would have simply asked how to go about this. When she asked me why I didn’t call right off, I had to be honest. My reply was simply “I’m a nurse and I know everything.” To which she said “Yes, Honey, you sure are.” I could hear the eye roll.
     As a side note, Dr. Google doesn’t know anything about lactation suppression so don’t go that route.


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