If your mother taught you how to properly arrange throw pillows or write perfect thank you cards, I certainly mean no offense. God bless women who were able to pass these type skills to their daughters. I have to say, however, my experience growing up was vastly different.
We come from homes where our mothers worked. I’m talking “out of the home work” not “sewing our sunday dresses work.” Mine is a licensed electrician for Pete’s sake. Needless to say, I never attended any DAR functions.
Our mothers might not be Martha Stewart or Betty Crocker, but they gave us some things far more important than the perfect Beef Wellington recipe.
1. “If you can tumble dry the wrinkles out, don’t bother dragging out the ironing board.”
Momma knew it was important not to complicate things or make them harder than they have to be. Busy women have to prioritize their time. “Our house may be wrecked, but by God, we have time for a family game of uno.”
2. “Tan fat is prettier than white fat.”
You enjoy the beach? Throw on that swimsuit girl! No, don’t skip dessert or any other pleasure in life. You are most beautiful when you are happy. Want a bikini body? Put a bikini on your body! Have fun and do your thing, whatever it might be. Get it gurl. Rock it.
3. “Adding a little bit of baby oil will get a few more miles out of that crusty mascara.”
I never felt poor growing up, but I sure learned quick how to make things last. Ripped jeans became shorts, water bottles were reusable, and the milk doesn’t necessarily spoil on the printed expiration date. That’s not “the struggle,” people, its being smart. To this day I appreciate every dollar I make and everything I have. You don’t need the newest and best to be happy and you’re deluded if you think you do. Thanks for the clarity, Momma.
4. “Change you’re own damn tire.”
The fact is, you might marry Prince Charming, or you might just name your cat Prince Charming. Our mothers taught us to build our lives as if there would never be a man there. As a result, we generate our own income, interests, and happiness. A spouse would be someone to share these with instead of being an ATM that poops out smiles and affirmations. Yay! We rock at being single and married!
5. “Who cares?”
When I was a kid, I had gotten fed up with fighting the massive ten pound bird’s nest that was my hair. I informed my Mom I was ready to cut it off. No, I wasn’t asking for a bob. It was honesly closer to a buzz. Without questioning it for a moment, Momma took me to have it done. Of course I got 10 kinds of Hell from my fellow students. I looked like Frankie Munez with gel all up in there and everything. When I cried about it to Mom, her reply was “Who cares? Its not their hair. You said you liked it and that is all that matters.” I wish I caught on then, but it took me years to really get this one. She loved me enough to show me how to love myself. Anyone who can’t handle you loving yourself is a waste of time.
Through years of microwaved quesadillas and boots that have scuff marks hidden with sharpie pens, we have aquired a new legacy that would make a debutante choke on her silver spoon. I pray that I have such valuable nuggets of wisdom to pass to my children. After all, I had a wonderful example to draw from.